Why I Am A Plus Size Trainer

I used to weigh 245 lbs.

 

I am also 4’11. So you can imagine that being so short and having so much weight on my body made me look a good 300 lbs.

 

I was depressed. I was miserable. I was struggling hardcore with my anxiety (and I was on anxiety medication).

 

I felt worthless. I felt unhappy. I felt like the worst human being on the planet to allow myself to have that much fat on my body. I felt that I was a horrible role model for my then 3 year old daughter.

 

And I pretty much wanted to remain invisible to the entire world.

 

Every time I walked out of the house I was worried about the looks that I would get; how I would be treated by others and if they would snicker right to my face and call me names like fatty and fat ass.

 

Before you even think that someone would never do such things to another human being they don’t know think again. I was once in a grocery store with my husband and legit had the person behind us moo at me. Obviously this person felt it necessary to let me know that I was a cow in the grocery aisle.

 

And yes, it was fucking humiliating to say the least. I went home and cried. All night. And I didn’t even eat the supper we went in there to get because I didn’t want to get any fatter than I already was.

 

So, one week before Christmas in 2013 I made a decision that would spark a very important change in my life. I chose to take my life back and download the app myfitnesspal on my phone; the very moment that I began my weight loss journey.   

 

And a life changing career move.

 

Most people lose weight and they are good with that. Their life of course is forever changed. But for me there was something more that sparked inside of me. I couldn’t stop talking about all things health and fitness. I would legit talk to anyone and everyone all day long about it if they wanted to. It got me super excited and just sparked this fire that lived deep down inside of my soul. Something that I had never experienced when I thought about what I wanted to study in college.

 

I knew that my purpose in this life was to help others through health and fitness. I felt it in every single fiber of my being.   I wanted to change lives. I wanted to help others lose weight and feel just as amazing as I did.

 

In fact it wasn’t a want, it was a NEED.

 

And in 2016 I was given that chance. I left a full time job with a steady paycheck and embarked on building a personal training business.

 

Sounds like a dream right? Yeah not quite.

 

Thing is that personal trainers? Are seen as having abs, lean bodies that are sculpted and super fit; pretty much a beautiful fit and healthy GODDESS.

 

And that was totally not me. I lost a good amount of weight no doubt. I didn’t look anything like the 245 lb Stacy. But I also still have body fat that is super stubborn and just doesn’t want to budge because of life and pregnancy. My dream career bubble got busted really quick when I realized that others were saying things like “if your trainer looks like they need a trainer you should stay clear” and “I can’t believe she was allowed to be a personal trainer because of her weight.”

 

Yes it stung. Yes it hurt. Yes it totally made me question myself, my choice, my dream, my fire, MY LIFE.   And of course every single time I walked into the gym I believed that every single person that looked at me was thinking, “there is the fat trainer”.

 

But then I woke up. And I got real with myself. And I decided that no one is going to tell me what I can and can not do in this life based on their personal opinions of my body.

 

I felt the calling. I felt that fire burn deep inside my soul. I KNEW what my purpose in life was. And just because other people decided to share their opinions about my body and my choice didn’t mean they were right. Because there were women that NEEDED me to help them reach their goals.

 

And to show them that fitspo fucking can take a flying leap off the fucking cliff.

 

Because enough is fucking enough already.

 

Health and fitness is for EVERY single body on this planet.

 

To act like a certain body type is only considered to be fit and healthy is bullshit.

 

And I for one am over it.

 

Women are constantly working towards an ideal body that they are never going to achieve because it’s not the body they were given.

 

We can only be healthy and fit in the body we have. Not to mention the fact that those images we are always seeing as THE representation of what is considered healthy, fit and beautiful is a false representation due to the copious amounts of airbrushing and editing that is done to that photo. Those women in those images seriously don’t even look like themselves in real life.

 

And it’s time to take a stand. It’s time to tell society that they got it WRONG and we aren’t going to take it any damn more.

 

And THAT is why I am a Plus Size Trainer.

 

Yes, I have cellulite. Yes I have some body fat. Yes I have dimples on my thighs. And hell yes my belly and butt can jiggle with the best of them!

 

But I am HEALTHY and I am FIT. I can kick some serious ass in a workout and I pretty much dare you to try and keep up with me during it.

 

I enjoy the shit out of some veggies and can eat them all day every day. But you bet your ass I am going to have that slice of cake and enjoy some ice cream because we were put on this earth to LIVE LIFE to the damn fullest!

 

And THAT is why I am a Plus Size Trainer.

 

Because these women out here need to know the bullshit that is being fed to them. They need to know that they are worthy and gorgeous and can do some kick ass shit in their amazing strong and beautiful bodies regardless if they aren’t representing this bullshit ideal of “fit”.

 

Because Healthy and Fit are very relative terms. They can mean many different things on many different BODIES.

 

I will not cower to those who choose to believe that what other people’s bodies look like and the career that they choose to embark on is their business. Because it isn’t. It’s time they keep their eyes on their own damn paper and look at the difference they are making in this world.

 

Because for me? I am a Plus Size Trainer and I am impacting women’s lives every single day to help them achieve the freedom they crave by getting healthy and fit in the body that was given to them.

 

And together we are spreading the message that you can take that fitspo mindset and shove it right up your close minded ass.

 

Because we are DONE with your bullshit definition of what healthy, fit and beautiful.

 

THIS is why I am a plus size trainer. So that I can help spread the message to clients that #fitspo can go fuck themselves.


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Here’s What Happened When I Broke Up with my Scale

In 2016 I made a pretty bold move. One could almost say that it was sort of like a rebellion actually.

It was during the summer & I was apart of a challenge being hosted by another fitness professional. One part of the challenge was to choose to take back your own power. 

It honestly wasn’t a really quick decision on my part because there are many things that I give my power away too that causes me stress and frustration. But the one thing that was really bugging me was my weight at the time and how I could never seem to get ahead when I was eating healthy most of the time and exercising. I had already became a personal trainer at that point so I was working to build my business, build up my clientele, and also keep the focus on me and my own journey. 

And let me tell you, becoming a personal trainer was definitely something that put the pressure on when it came to focusing on my own journey. I felt as though I had to live by a certain set of standards. And while I was living a healthy lifestyle and had lost a good amount of weight up to that point, I was in this perfection mindset and just felt like I wasn’t doing/being enough and I had this deep seeded fear that no one would want to work with me because of the way my body had looked. Especially because I looked NOTHING like the other trainers in the gym. 

So I had become a bit obsessive about jumping on the scale and monitoring that glowing number that would let me know where I stood for that day. It became so frustrating and most days when I wouldn’t see any progress from the scale, it would really make me feel like crap for the rest of the damn. 

And the obsession really started to take a toll on my mindset and self-confidence. I started to think that maybe I shouldn’t have embarked on my dream career. That maybe I was just a failure at this healthy lifestyle thing and I really didn’t have what it took to reach my current goals (even though I had come so far already in my journey). 

So back to the challenge and how this all ties together! 

After much thought I believed that I was honestly giving too much power over to my scale. It was an obsession. It was hindering my mindset and confidence and it honestly wasn’t helping me to progress at all. It was not motivation for me. It was legit a Debbie downer. 

So, I threw the scale in the trash. And I posted the photo on Instagram and shared my story behind it. It was one of the scariest things I had done in a while (aside from quitting a full time job to start a business! But that’s a topic for another time).

At first I felt like I was having a bit of withdraws as I had created this habit of walking into the bathroom as soon as I got up so that I could go to the restroom and then weigh myself without my clothes. 

But this didn’t last very long at all. Thing is, I actually started to feel less stressed. I began to focus on other things like my clients, my confidence, my mindset and learning to believe in myself more. Plus? I started to enjoy my journey again & focus on just getting my exercise and daily movement done, as well as focus on my healthy eating one meal at a time. 

And because I stopped obsessing over the scale so much since it was literally gone from he house and focusing more on other things, I actually started to see my progress again and the fact that every small thing I was doing for my health was adding up to some big results. 

So what exactly happened when I broke up with my scale?  I became happier, less stressed, enjoyed the journey of working on a healthier and slimmer me, and I started to actually see progress and get results. 

The scale is just one tool that can help guide us in our progress. However, it’s not the best tool out there and it’s not exactly the most accurate way to measure our success. A much more accurate way to measure our progress is to measure our body with a measuring tape once a month; keeping track of how many workouts we did in a month; how many healthy meals we ate in one month, how much water we are drinking a day.  All of these are a great way to measure our progress towards our goals. And the less we focus on the number on the scale, the greater our results are going to be. 


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How to Recover & Destress from well LIFE!

Life can feel damn hard some days. The responsibilities we have to take care of, the needs of other people that need to be met. The cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids, and somehow trying to find time to care for ourselves can feel just down right exhausting. By the end of the day we just want to flop down on the bed to just get a good night’s sleep and yet sleep practically eludes us because our damn minds just won’t shut down. 

Before we know it the alarm is going off & it’s time to get up and do it all over again. 

Stress is one of those things that are body does need, however, most of us are giving our bodies more than its fair share of it. We live in a world where there is just so much pressure placed on us from other people and ourselves. Especially right now because the holidays are here.  While holidays are supposed to me a joyous time for us, it tends to be the opposite. There is a lot of pressure to buy all of the presents, give every one and their brother a gift. Bake cookies, wrap the presents, go to the holiday parties, be joyous and happy and giving and thankful and yet all we want to do is really just pull our damn hair out of our heads and scream at the top of our lungs. 

I totally get it. Stress is one of those things that I personally don’t handle well at all. It can feel down right overwhelming and can leave us feeling depleted, anxious, hopeless, worthless, and just like we aren’t doing enough in our lives. Some days when I have just had it all I want to do is go lie in my bed, pull those covers up over my head, and just close my eyes wishing for it to all go away. 

And while some days this might feel like the very best option, let’s face it, it’s really not. So today I want to share with you some tips on how to recover and destress to help your body, mood, and overall view of life! 


Ideas for Promoting Recovery and Decreasing Stress

  1. Take up an enjoyable hobby (at least once weekly): This could be anything. You’ll not only get some time to focus on something that brings you joy, but you’ll also be around people whose company you enjoy (well, most likely).

 

  1. Volunteer once per week: This will likely increase the time you spend around people whose company you enjoy. Plus, you’ll be living according to your values, which always provides a nice dose of goodness.

 

  1. Get a regular massage every few weeks, or on your own preferred schedule.

 

  1. Take ownership of your situation: Acknowledge what role you play in how your life is organized.

 

  1. Spend time outside daily.

 

  1. Set limits on screen time: Yes, this means not constantly checking emails, texting, and reviewing social media.

 

  1. Meditate / pray / quietly reflect (any word you prefer) as often as possible.

 

  1. Include low impact movement (e.g., yoga, walking, biking, hiking) daily. Walk to get your groceries. Bike to the gym. And so on.

 

  1. Gain perspective: Step back and think about your entire life, then consider how today’s stressor fit into the big picture.

 

  1. Practice being alone: Turn off your phone and go somewhere. Maybe out to dinner, a movie, a play, or on a hike. You are with yourself always and forever. The more we can learn to enjoy our own company, the better.

 

  1. Take deep breaths, focusing especially on a long out-breath: This immediately calms your stress response.

 

  1. Practice gratitude: This might mean a daily journal. Or maybe a weekly letter to someone you appreciate.

 

Try a mind body scan: Find a quiet place with no distractions. Sit or lie down. Set a time, for 5 minutes if you like. Start at the top of your head, and slowly go down to your toes. Notice all physical sensations: hot / cold, itchy, tense, etc. Observe, don’t judge. You can do this anywhere, at any time, in order to slow down and calm your body.

 

  • Question 1: What are you feeling, physically?
  • Question 2: What are you feeling, emotionally?
  • Question 3: What are you thinking?
  • Question 4: Based on this scan, what have you learned about yourself today?

Loved these tips & Know a friend who could really use these in their life as well?  Then make sure to share this post with them by clicking the sharing buttons below! Sharing is caring after all! 😉 

A Super Simple Guide to Creating a Healthy Meal!

Eating healthy can be hard. Like really hard. And while people can tell us that it really can be easy, it truly never really feels like that.

Isn’t the say if it would be easy than everyone would be doing?  But while this may hold true for most things, and certainly it holds true for healthy eating, it really is not as complicated as we make it out to be. And that is not due to anything regarding us honestly. It just is that there is so much information out there regarding healthy eating and how we need to do it in order to lose weight that we just get super overwhelmed by it, and we really don’t know what direction that we need to take. 

So today I want to help make this super easy for you!  I have a meal creation guide that I created for my face to face personal training clients, and I am going to share this exact document with you!  It’s not anything fancy at all, but it is simple and straight to the point!  

I have created it to break down the 3 main meals of our day; breakfast, lunch, and dinner. All you need to do is to fill in the box for each type of food (protein, veggie, carb, etc) and then voila! You have your healthy meal created!  

This guide is free so please feel free to print as many copies as you need! And as an extra bonus if you should need a food list to reference, I am also including the link below to sign up for my fast start guide that comes complete with the list of foods to help you get started to healthier eating! 

Click this link right here to grab your

FREE MEAL CREATION GUIDE —> Meal Creation Guide-2

 

Click the image below to grab your FREE FAST START GUIDE!

In order to truly succeed with weightless, we have to learn to keep it simple

There is so much information in the health and fitness world that it really is no wonder that so many believe it is hard and complicated and just down right achievable.

There are many rules that are said that have to be followed. There are certain foods that we are to eat and certain exercises that we are to do in order to lose weight and get toned up.  We have to work out a certain amount of times a week for a certain length of time. We can eat this and not eat that. We can drink this but not drink that.

I could go on and on about this but I think that you get my point.  It’s complicated, hard, exhausting, and can actually feel somewhat miserable as well. Totally get it. Just writing all of this makes my mind spin a thousand different ways.

When I first started out on my own health and fitness journey I began counting calories. I downloaded the myfitnesspal app and I tracked everything I ate. I didn’t change my food at first, I was just watching my portions and worked to hit the target calorie count each day. Once that just wasn’t working any longer I then began to count my macros. So I weighed and measured my food and focused more on the quality of foods I was eating. Then I switched to working to eating intuitively and listening to my body. Then I worked on eating certain foods in moderation in conjunction with eating healthy.  

I went from working out for 10 minutes a day to 2 hours every day.  Then I worked out at home and did workout dvds and chose to do 30 minutes 7 days a week.

This is just a small snippet of my own journey but the point I want to make is that i would follow program after program. I would follow what other people said for me to follow and what was working for them. And while each plan did give me some progress at the time I followed it, it still felt really hard and complicated.  I often wondered if I was doing enough and doing it right. I would feel awful if I skipped a workout or didn’t eat a healthy meal at one point.

I thought at the time that the problem was me. But it really wasn’t. The problem lies in the fact that it feels as though we have to do all of the things at one time. It’s a feeling that I have personally had, and also what I have personally seen within my own clients.

We all tend to think we have to do all of it right now in order to lose weight. But that really isn’t true. We have to remember that we are working on changing years and years of habits that we did consistently in order to gain the weight. And just because we make the decision to change our life and make it a healthier one doesn’t mean it is all going to happen right now.

We showed up every day doing the same habits consistently that led us to the weight gain, so we have to show up every day doing the same habits consistently that are going to help us lose the weight.

It’s the same formula, just reversed to get a different result.   

And it has to be simplified; meaning that it has to be ridiculously simple and feel easy to us. It has to be attainable and fit within our life instead of us fitting our life around it.

The only way this is going to really work and stick is if we work to build a plan that fits within our unique life and lifestyle. And since we are all so different and come from different places and experiences, that is going to look somewhat different for each and every single one of us.

So how do we work to do this?  We pick ONE THING. And then show up each day and do that one thing for an entire month. I promise that by the end of that month we aren’t even going to be thinking about it. We will just automatically do it because we have created a habit.

There are many different things that we can choose. Sometimes my clients choose drinking water every single day. Some choose to eat a serving of veggies every day. Others just work to get movement in their daily life and not spend so much time on the couch.

There really is no right or wrong choice here. The power lies in the fact that we can have control over what we are choosing to do.  While we like to be told what to do in this area, we also like to feel like we have control and are also making a choice.   And because we like to see the steps in print and fully wrap our minds around what we need to do, here is how to simplify nutrition to make it stick and actually lose weight for good.

Step 1: Pick ONE healthy habit to do every single day (like drink water, eat veggies, eat protein, etc).

Step 2: Show up every single day and perform that ONE task. Write it down to track your progress on a notebook or calendar!

Step 3: At the end of the month take a look at your notebook or calendar and see how well you did!

Seriously that is it. Just 3 steps to get you going on your goals! I promise you will be so focused on showing up every day to do your task that the weight is going to just come off on it’s on!


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Pumpkin Pie Energy Bites!

We all love snacks. It’s the thing we take with us on really long car rides. They are what we gather up to take with us to friend’s houses for cookout, parties, or even movie night. 

To tell you the truth. I actually don’t ever need a true reason to have snacks. I honestly like to have them pretty much anytime! 

I know you feel me on this one too! I mean, I can’t be the only one! lol

In the spirit of fall, thanksgiving, and pumpkin everything at this moment, here is a super easy & healthy recipe for snacks that can be for really whenever you want one!! 

Feel free to share with your friends, or not. 😉 


Pumpkin Pie Energy Bites! 

Here is What You Need! 

1 cup pitted dates

1 cup warm water

1/2 cup raw pecan halves (or pecan pieces) 

1/3 cup canned pumpkin puree

1/4 cup unsweetened coconut flakes; reserve small amount for garnish

1 tsp. pure hazelnut extract (or pure maple extract)

1 tsp. pure maple syrup

2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice

1 pinch sea salt (or Himalayan salt).

 

Here is What You Gotta Do! 

  1. Place dates in a medium bowl; cover with water. Let soak for 10 minutes. Drain. Set aside. 

  2. Place pecans in food processor; pulse until finely ground. 

  3. Add dates, pumpkin, coconut, extract, maple syrup, pumpkin pie spice, and salt; pulse until well mixed. Place in a medium bowl. Refrigerate, covered, for 30 minutes. 

  4. Using clean hands, roll into tablespoon-sized balls; roll in reserved coconut if desired. 

  5. Store, refrigerated, in airtight container. 

 

How I reversed 24 years of hating my body

I spent a good amount of my life hating my body.

I clearly remember the first time I looked at my body and felt ashamed of how it looked.

I was 11. And in 5th grade.

I had hit puberty and experienced some weight gain from it. It was the year I also started my period.   That happened at school nonetheless.

All my friends at the time hadn’t started theirs yet. And They were also thin. And tall. And so very pretty.

They all had boyfriends. They all had the cutest clothes.

And then there was me.

BEing 11 years old seemed to be a turning point in my life. But not in a positive way.

I had pimples on my face.

I had gained weight.

I was bleeding once a month.

And to top if of, I was wearing clothes that my mom had made for me.

There isn’t anything wrong with any of these things. But for an 11 year old girl? It was the end of the world.

According to my peers that is.

From that year on I was constantly reminded how I wasn’t enough-

Pretty enough

Rich enough

Thin enough

Good enough

I spent a good amount of years after this fighting against judgements and labels that were place on me from others.

And I believed them for many years actually.

And the thing is? I never felt this way or cared about it until others point it out to me constantly.

But it was such an impact that it stayed with me until I was 35 years old.

So how did I reverse 24 years of the belief that I wasn’t

Pretty enough

Rich enough

Thin enough

Good enough?

I had to work to flip the script.  Mindset is so important to our overall well being. Our thoughts that we believe are the actions that we put into play.

So I journaled. I read self-help books. I listened to podcasts. I took in perspective from those who struggled with this very thing.

And I slowly changed the way I thought about myself. So I would feel pretty enough, rich enough, thin enough,and good enough.

Because we can eat healthy and exercise perfectly.

But if we are constantly believing our body is disgusting and we aren’t good enough, then we are never going to be satisfied and we will always end up failing with our goals.


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The Only Thing Standing Between You & Your Goals

 

 

 

We can share our excuses all day long as to why we haven’t lost the weight & achieved the body changes we seek.

But at the end of the day these excuses are just another layer we hide behind.

We are the only ones who can achieve these goals. No one else can do it for us.

We can hire the most famous personal trainer in the world, the most world renowned nutritionist & have a meal & exercise plan created that has been used by the most beautiful bodies in the world.

But if we don’t believe that we have what it takes to implement these very tools, we aren’t going to get anywhere.

We are just going to remain in the same place where wishes and hopes and dreams die all because of the one thing that holds us back;

Believing the thought that we aren’t capable of achieving such success.

So how does one break through the bullshit & start realizing their potential?

We begin telling ourselves the SAME loving words & encouragement that we provide to the most loved people in our lives.  

Take a moment to imagine how our loved ones would feel if we looked right at them & said they weren’t capable of achieving their personal goals because they weren’t worthy of having such things?

Then how in turn would this make us feel to say such a thing to someone we loved so very much? It would makes us feel awful wouldn’t it?

That’s exactly how our souls feel when our minds tells us these thoughts.

The Woman Who Wears the Size 6 Jeans…

 

 

The reality is that all women, regardless of the size of jeans they wear, know exactly what it feels like to think they are fat & ugly & worthless.

Because the way we feel? Is the same as what another one feels as we are never alone in our personal struggles.

We tend to look at a woman who is smaller than we are and instantly think that she is happy; that she believes she is the most beautiful woman in the world & that she never has any struggles or depressed days. That she wakes up every single morning & slips on her clothes feeling fabulous. There is no way she cries in her room because of the reflection that stares right back at her in the mirror.

But this reality? Isn’t the true reality. It is only the stories that we tell ourselves because we want to BE HER.

But the truth of the matter is that regardless of the size of the jeans, we are one in the same. There are plenty of women who wear a size 6 pair of jeans and believe they are fat just like the woman who wears the size 18. Both believe that they are ugly and worthless and don’t deserve happiness.

Because self-esteem issues are not reserved for those who only wear a “certain size of jeans.”

It’s more about the love and belief that we have for ourselves. And if we believe we are fat and ugly and worthless and don’t deserve to live a happy life unless we weight a certain amount or we wear a certain size pair of clothes; have thinner thighs a plumper tush, a smaller waist, abs, etc, then we are not going to be happy nor give ourselves permission to live our life to the fullest until we reach these personal wishes.

It’s totally cliche but it’s true; we must NEVER judge a book by it’s cover.

We must never assume anything about anyone based on what we see as what we see is only a perception of what we believe in our own minds. At the end of the day we can look at a woman smaller than us and think “man what it must be like to be HER!”  

When in reality, she may very well be living in the same reality as we are. Because at the end of the day? We are all women who are battling the same struggles day in and day out. Size never discriminates who gets to struggle and who doesn’t, because we all do. 

 

The True Secret of Change

Ever stop to think that maybe it isn’t the change that is hard, but actually having the willingness to put in the time, energy, and hard work it takes in order to create that change?

We can’t just WANT the change. We have to be willing to show up daily, throw some trust in the trust bucket, & believe enough in ourselves that we are capable of creating the change we seek.  

Because we are either willing to put in the time & own our shit and take responsibility for our own actions and just put in the work, or accept the fact that we aren’t willing to do the work required.

There is no ands, ifs, or buts, about it. Excuses are just another way we choose to not own up our choices we make.